Shoot The Moose

Trillian was all upset last night because we have not yet put up the Christmas tree. I have many legitimate reasons for this, but really such a transgression is inexcusable. I have children, it's Christmastime, and there is no tree in our living room.

I feel bad enough that we've switched to an artificial tree. Lintilla is a Real Tree kind of person, and although it's all the same to me, I've always made having the "real tree" one of my small tokens of love for Lintilla. But the last few years, we've had to leave town in the weeks around Christmas. Since my parents ran away from home again, we'll be spending a week in December in the shining metropolis of Milton, FL.

And there's no way I'm having a formerly live tree (ie, firewood with tinsel on it) in my house when I'm not there. One devastating fire is enough for one lifetime, thank you.

But like I said, not putting up even the artificial tree is inexcusable. I'll do it tonight.

No, I won't; I've got band rehearsal tonight. I'll do it tomorrow.

No, I won't; we've got church activities. I'll do it Thursday.

No, I won't. Zaphod and Trillian both have book reports due, and they always put them off till the last day. I'll do it Friday.

...

...

AHA! I am a PERFECT DAD!