Shoot The Moose

I am one of those people who, when setting out on a quest, needs a lodestar. I need a point of reference, something tangible to which I can turn.

Well, even though I know that the quickest way to hear the laughter of God is to tell Him your plans, I have some plans for the coming year nonetheless. I intend to lose weight and get in shape. But, I ask myself, what shall be my lodestar? What shall constantly be in front of me, a reminder of my quest, not to be discarded until the quest is complete?

I decided after watching one of my daughter's episodes of Hannah Montana. This year, I am going to shake things up. REALLY shake things up. I am going to do something, that for 99% of the world's population is unthinkable.

I have told a few, select friends; they recoiled in horror. The most common reaction has been along the lines of: "For the love of God, NO!" I have been reminded to think of the children. I have also been reminded that I will have a lot of trouble finding a professional who will be willing to perform the "procedure" I need to get started.

That's OK. If I can't find someone in Nashville, I'll go elsewhere. I'll even travel to Mexico if I have to. I'm a man on a mission. So, I'm sure you're asking, what on earth is it I am doing that has friends terrified, that will torture my children, that may even break up my marriage?

In 2007...

I am going to re-grow...

My mullet.

I want my mullet back. I'm tired of everyone telling me what's cool and uncool. God has blessed this 42-year-old with a full, bushy head of hair, still the original color, with a few random white hairs peppered in. I'm ready to re-live just a small portion of my youth - business in the front, party in the back. (I had a GREAT mullet. That's me, second from the right).

The mullet will serve three purposes:

1) It will be a constant, tangible reminder to me that I am on a mission; when I am weak, all I need to do is look in the mirror.
2) It will serve as a motivation for my family not to sabotage my efforts, as has been done in the past. The mullet stays until I reach my goals. It delights me to no end that my children are mortified.
3) It will be my own mini-mutiny. My mid-life crisis. My way of saying to the world, "I don't give a crap what you think!"

Brittney at Nashville is Talking, with her Waxing Vegan blog, has inspired me. I have created a new blog to chronicle my growing hair and shrinking waistline: Follow The Mullet. If you want to follow one man's struggle to regain his health and youth, check it out every now and then. My ultimate hope is to cut the back once I reach my goals, and donate the hair to Locks of Love or another such organization.

My family has been wondering why I skipped my last couple of haircuts. My hair is now to my collar in the back. I'm ready to trim the top/sides. Hopefully my usual barber will do it. I'll try to get pictures and post them at Follow The Mullet.

I may be insane, but I still wish all of you a happy and hairy 2007!